Life #17: Social Vengeance
On the eve of the Australian federal election, it’s timely to acknowledge the origins of the Teal Independent movement here in our home seat of Kooyong, Victoria. We reflect on the challenges and groundwork in running the 2019 election campaign, which ultimately led to a Teal victory in 2022. We again have a resurgent Liberal party opponent, determined to regain their prized seat at all costs, and will likely be using similar tactics to win it back.
In a sanctum of pretentious, political elite
A disgruntled lifetime member, leapt loudly to his feet
He pronounced them all fools
Obsessed with fossil fuels
As the raucous gentry jeered, they turfed him on the street
He’d declared the Liberal Party, had lost its moral soul
When passing round in parliament, a lump of dirty coal
Warning climate’s not a joke
When our world’s about to choke
Your environmental vandalism, has dealt a heavy toll
A decision ignited, from that smouldering disaffection
To contest the 2019 election
As the original Teal
His prospects were real
The Liberals were quivering, from Oliver Yates’s defection
They said this upstart challenger, was utterly out of line
For Kooyong had been Liberal, since Sir Robert Menzies’ time
This blue-ribbon safe seat
Belonged to their elite
But to beat their sitting Treasurer, would be fittingly sublime
Now an election campaign, is a most daunting task
So Oliver called me, with a question to ask
Said he’s going to stand
Could I give him a hand
Could I rejoin the band, to be his chief of staff
We had worked at the Clean Energy Finance Corporation
He knew I could manage, the campaign administration
We’d been successful before
Built personal rapport
As a special symbiotic combination
We ran on a platform, for climate change action
To restore integrity, community interaction
To give voters a choice
With a genuine voice
By representing people, not political factions
We sent brochures and mail-outs, to every home
Instagram messages, on everyone’s phone
T-shirt suppliers
Corflutes and flyers
All in 320C, teal colour Pantone
He appealed to the voters, both young and old
With progressive policies, some say were bold
Totally authentic
A little eccentric
Had support from the Greens, or so he was told
But enter Julian Burnside, he would burn our arse
Why he ran for the Greens, you would have to ask
We were in the same boat
But he would split the vote
Now to beat Josh Frydenberg, an much harder task
Ollie’s grass roots campaign, was so meagrely funded
Mostly himself, or from friends or Climate 200
Whereas Josh was endowed
From the coal lobby crowd
With ill-gotten gains, from the planet they plundered
We campaigned in car parks, and walked every street
The Liberals were desperately, heading for defeat
To stop Oliver Yates
They called favours from mates
With whatever it took, to keep their prized Kooyong seat
First the Liberal-led Council’s, garden trailer wars
In the darkness night, they came knocking on doors
Claiming trailers with signs
Need permits to align
With their so-called election advertising laws
Then soon came a letter, saying Ollie need not worry
Coming back to his old, banking job at Macquarie
Did Josh use his connections
Against Ollie’s defection
Oliver you are fired, we’re so insincerely sorry
Then the Liberal Party’s purple, official-looking signs
In Electoral Commission, colours and design
In Mandarin they wrote
Instructions how to vote
To dupe Chinese voters, to tow the Liberal line
Their election day tactics, were confrontingly uncouth
The Liberals stalked Oliver, at each polling booth
They ran interference
At his every appearance
They showed their true colours, propagating untruths
In the end the Liberals, very narrowly won
But the Independent movement, had only just begun
The people wanted change
That broader colour range
We had blazed the campaign trail, for the next Teals to come
To our dedicated supporters and all our volunteers
From donors, door knockers, street walkers, to scrutineers
Despite being denied
We felt deep inside
The Liberals could be beaten, in another three years
Yes we won that next election, with Dr Monique Ryan
The Teal Army took Kooyong, after two attempts trying
We had shown them the way
For her victory that day
Ending nearly nine decades, of those self-serving scions
Monique’s term has now passed, she’s running for re-election
Against a Liberal with blue blood, family connections
A full-frontal attack
They want Kooyong back
For it’s the heartland of Teal, Independent conception
Thanks to Oliver Yates, Godfather of the Teals
Had conviction to start, this courageous ordeal
The people had spoken
When politics was broken
Evicting that elite sanctum …. was vengeance so surreal
Kevin Holmes • 29th March 2025
